This is the 2nd part of my telling of how I got my life back on track… Part 2: “Retraining My Thoughts”.
Just to recap:
– Shit was unbearably fucked up
– Causes: The unwitting assimilation of Nihilistic Belief Patterns
– Got to a breaking point
– Soul took the wheel
– Examing CONTROL
– What the fuck do I do now?
– Couldn’t go with belief any longer, sheer will now
– Going to The Ancestors
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I have an extremely negative history with the Self-Help Industry. Through various experiences, I have come to the conclusion that most of it is a bunch of psycho-manipulative gobedly goop. IMO, a lot of the folks involved are con-artists running an a long game… an open-ended money making cult. They are juicing folks who are vulnerable.
With all that being said, this is exactly WHO The Ancestors brought me to for help! (hahahaha! Love it! 🙂 )
Motivational/inspirational videos started popping up in my YouTube feed for no seemingly apparent reason. I didn’t watch that stuff, so the YouTube algorithms should not have placed them there.
I was annoyed at first and kept clicking the ‘not interested’ option to get them out of there. But they kept coming back, and bringing more friends with them! hahaha 😀
After maybe about a week or so of this, it finally dawned on me, “Ohhh… I’m supposed to watch these.” hahahahaha
I ended up binge watching in every free moment I had for DAYS probably like 50 videos (?) or more. And I took notes. TONS of notes.
As I watched them, it was almost like what DMT’ers describe. They describe the fabric of reality being broken down and seeing the intricate parts. Maybe not as profound, but it was for me! I could understand different meaning in the words I was hearing from what the speaker originally intended.
I was able to see where the ideas surrounding goal achievement could be applied to #soulgoals.
I eventually got to a stopping point when I realized I had the feeling I was ‘FULL’.
I then went back over my notes and pulled out what I needed. I also rearranged words to fit the ‘prescriptions’ needed for my current brain-state. I made a list of these prescriptions and they became My Morning Vows. Before I did anything else, I read those vows daily.
And this is where the retraining tied in. These Vows became my morning mental exercise routine.
I’d realized that my thought process was all out of whack. My thoughts were directly tied to my beliefs, and my beliefs were producing all kinds of shady low key nonsense. Pretty much they were birthing the ideas surrounding my inability to do things. My ineffectiveness. My feelings of being incapable. I was looking at the world through gloom and doom storm colored glasses.
Yeah, the world IMO is fucked up, but my being woven into that mindset was only producing more fucked-up-ed-ness. I was adding my little bit to the mix, helping it out, helping it grow even bigger.
With taking back my thought process, this is (even if it’s just a minuscule part) a change for the betterment of the whole.
Nothing had truly changed in my environment, but through these small decisions, it had! There was one less person that I can say with absolute concrete certainty who was making a change.
Now to get everything into some type of workable system…
Onto the third decision and next post…
